Healing Tools

Conflict Resolution

Teach More for Peace

 

Healing Tools
Conflict Resolution

Conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be used as an opportunity for growth and greater understanding of events, each other, and ultimately, ourselves. The next time you find yourself experiencing conflict, remember there are things that you can contribute towards resolution of the conflict. Take a deep breath and practice the following:

  1. LISTEN! Rather than spend time building your defense, really listen to what the other person is telling you. Give them feedback so they know they are being heard. Try to put yourself in their place to gain an understanding of their view of events and recognize that their view is valid.
  2. MOVE INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT! You must be willing to let go of the past. Being present also means being open to your own emotional experience. Share it with the purpose of healing, rather than using pain as a basis for blaming others. Give up hope of a better yesterday! Nothing can change that which has already happened. Staying stuck in the past keeps you engaged in the conflict. The present is the only place you have any power to change and create your future.
  3. BE FLEXIBLE! Allow for the possibility that there is more than one way to view things and that there is more than one solution to the problem. When problem solving and negotiation are not yielding results, get more emotionally honest. Using the lessons that animals can teach us, consider the beaver. When it builds its home it constructs many exits and entrances. If we eliminate our alternatives, we dam the flow of experiences in our lives. Look for alternative solutions to life's challenges. Remember, conflicts are opportunities for everyone involved to win. All that's required is more honest disclosure, deeper intimacy and commitment to communication.

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